“We can either be pushed by pain or pulled by pleasure”


I heard this quote a long time ago and it’s always stuck with me because it couldn’t be more true in my experience. Like all of us, my biggest learnings and growth have been born out of loss and struggle. 

One of these painful incidents occurred in recent years in business when a prospect came my way who felt like a perfect fit. I was so excited about the idea of working with this particular client because I loved what they were doing and what they were about. I could see the potential of what we could achieve if we worked together. Her work was in alignment with my values and my experience. I knew I could add value to her growing business.


Except it appears I read her completely incorrectly.


I had made certain assumptions about her and her values that I wasn’t consciously aware of at the time. She seemed so much like me and so I spoke and wrote in a way that was in alignment with my priorities and values. In our discussions and in my proposal, I focused on outcomes and qualities that are important to me (and I assumed to her too). But as it turns out, they weren’t as important to her. And she chose to work with someone else.

I was devastated.


It took me completely by surprise because it wasn’t the outcome I was expecting at all. I couldn’t understand what had gone so wrong. It confused me for the longest time.

It wasn’t until very recently during my certification process for the B.A.N.K. Personality Coding Methodology that I finally understood what went wrong with this particular client. As I worked through the learning for each personality type, it suddenly dawned on me that even though this client had seemed so similar to me, her underlying values system was quite different from mine. I’ve been able to figure this out thanks to the incredible artificial intelligence (AI) that is a part of the B.A.N.K. system.


The B.A.N.K artificial intelligence can decode a person’s social profiles, website, and other written material to tell you what their personality code is—which means you can then speak and write to them according to their internal values system.



Each one of us has a ‘B.A.N.K. code’ which is the order of the different values systems that are most important to us. There are 24 different B.A.N.K. codes possible from four different primary value sets (shown below). You discover your B.A.N.K. code (as a preliminary assessment) by ordering the cards below in order of their importance to you. 



You see, I had assumed that this prospect was like me. As someone who leads with the ‘Nurturer’ type (my personality code is NKAB), I love to do business with people who:

  • Are authentic, transparent, and genuine (N).
  • Show me they are not driven by money (N).
  • Connect me with their community, team or tribe (N).
  • They’re purpose-driven and passionate about their cause—and mine (N).
  • They’re warm, friendly and sincere (N).
  • They’re smart and know their information (K).
  • They can provide me with the intellectual substance behind their approach (K).
  • Their knowledge or system is current and state-of-the-art (K).
  • They have a sense or urgency and don’t waste time on insignificant details (A).
  • They get straight to the point (A).

But based on my research since, I now understand that my prospect’s values were more in order of the list below (AKNB)—with A as her highest value by far. She predominantly wanted to do business with someone who:

  • Focuses on the fun, sizzle, lifestyle, and the dream (A).
  • Displays excitement and enthusiasm (A).
  • Can introduce her to other successful, powerful influencers (A).
  • Is charismatic, cool and dressed to impress (A).
  • Loves to make money, and lots of it (A).
  • Has a sense of urgency and remembers that time is money (A).

Had I known this at the time, I would have conducted my communications with her completely differently!


I could have spoken directly to her cherished values and priorities in order to build her trust and confidence in me. I could have focused my proposal directly on the things that are important to her and then worked with her in a way that met her needs and values. If only I’d known then what they were!

But as always, hindsight is a wonderful thing. And this situation taught me a very powerful lesson in what NOT to do when it comes to pitching your services to someone.

Selling and succeeding in business is all about building quick, natural rapport with your prospect and developing trust and confidence in you as the provider by speaking their language.


 The B.A.N.K system teaches you exactly how to first understand and then speak the language that is going to resonate with your prospect’s value system. 


And the best thing is, you can ask your prospects to crack their own code before you speak to them using the BANKPASS. That way you know exactly how to relate and speak to them in a way that resonates with their core values from the get-go.

This has been a complete game-changer for me in my business.

Want to know what your B.A.N.K personality code is?

Go here to find out now.


Has this article been helpful? Drop me a comment if it has! I love hearing from you.

In service to your success,

Kate De Jong, PhD
Inspired Business
Business & marketing coach for small business owners
[email protected]
0424 176 658

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